编者按:2024年2月7日,为期一周的“清北特训营”进入第4天。在“高考英语作文”环节,通过个体自主写作,对子互评和小组遴选,全营推选出了“高快英语作文之星”:李升菊、黄榆。今选她们的高快英语作文,后附指导教师明继仙的评语,让大家领略其风采。
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
I stared at myself in the mirror: blue tights, yellow vest (背心),a green fish tail trailing behind me, and large eyes sitting atop my head. I raised my eyebrows. "Really, Mom?”“ Yes. Maybe the make-up will add something,”Mom said hopefully. Mom had convinced me to do a play this summer.So here I was about to play the Fish-Footman in the local community theater production of Alice in Wonderland.
“What if I forget my lines?And I don't think this costume is right.”Mom gave me a knowing smile." You've been rehearsing (彩排)for two months,you were the first off-book in your scene, and I couldn't be prouder of you.”Mom pulled me in for a fierce hug. I had to admit: Mom's hugs are the best.But despite that, I felt a knot in my stomach that got worse as the hour of opening night drew nearer.
The next day we arrived at the auditorium(礼堂).I first followed Mom to the back of it, where someone put on make-up for me. Unexpectedly, when I stood before a mirror, my jaw dropped. A mass of blue spread from my forehead down my nose, and even worse green circles bubbled over my cheeks.
"“Mom! I can't go out on stage like this! I’d be a laughing stock!”I cried. “Riley,look around you!This is Alice in Wonderland. You're not the only one in an odd costume.”Mom told me to fit in.“That's life,” she said she was going to watch me go out on that stage. She turned away to leave,but then leaned down and kissed me on the forehead.“I love you, honey.”And she was gone.
At that moment, the assistant stage manager came into the room and called my name, smiling.
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
My scene was coming up. ___________________________________________
I was determined to make a lasting impression.__________________________
李升菊
My scene was coming up. My heart was pounding wildly and I was having butterflies in my stomach. I followed the assistant to get on the stage. With the curtain slowly opening and colorful bubbles rising, bright light brightened the audience to cheers and a ripple of laughter. I was not sure whether they were laughing at me. However, hardly had I seen others’ costume and make-up when the rock in my heart fell down. The magic words of my mom echoed in my mind.“I love you, honey.”“That’s life.”I reassured myself, restored and determined.
I was determined to make a lasting impression. I read the lines fluently and played the Fish-Footman in a vivid way. I felt that I had already combined with the role perfectly. The moment our performance was over, thunderous applause erupted from the audience, cheers lingering around the theater. My mom gave me a thumbs-up. It was my mom’s encouragement that supported me to triumph over the tough journey. I also realized that there are many obstacles in our life, and what we need do is fit in and do our utmost.
评语:本文思路清晰,逻辑严谨,衔接巧妙,与原文的契合度高。句型丰富多样,灵活地运用了with的复合结构、部分倒装、强调句、独立主格结构、形容词做状语等高级表达。不失为一篇佳作!祝福升菊!
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Dorothy lived alone in her little house after her husband died several years ago, and their only son, Kevin, worked abroad.
One day, Dorothy was purchasing the month's supplies at a grocery store when she heard a man talking to the cashier,“Excuse me. Does this store happen to need more cashiers? You see, I used to be a security guard, but I’m now out of job.I assure you I'll do the best work if I'm hired!”
The cashier looked sympathetically at him. “ I'm sorry, sir, but as far as I'm concerned, we don't have any openings as of now,”she said. “Oh, is that so?”said the man, defeated. "It's fine if there are no openings.”
Dorothy was standing directly behind the man, waiting for her bill to be cleared. She concluded from the man's appearance that he was struggling and she wanted to help him. Luckily, she remembered a job ad she'd seen on a billboard on her way to the grocery store. She introduced herself and informed the man about the job posting.The man,who introduced himself as John, thanked Dorothy for her help. By then, the cashier had finished checking out John's purchases and was collecting payment. Unfortunately, John's card wouldn't work and he didn't have enough money to cover his bill. Dorothy decided to assist him.“It's alright,” she told him.“I'll cover for you.”John thanked her repeatedly
After Dorothy cleared their bills, John volunteered to load her shopping bags in his car and drove her home. During their car ride, John told her about his job and his family-his late wife and his two sons who lived abroad. Dorothy also talked about her family, mentioning her only son.“He sends me postcards every year for my birthday,but this year none came. I wonder if he forgot my birthday this year. My birthday is only 5 days away,” she said.
注意:
1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Five days went by, and Dorothy’s birthday arrived. _______________________
___________________________________________________________________
The doorbell rang again soon and John smiled. __________________________
___________________________________________________________________
黄榆
Five days went by, and Dorothy’s birthday arrived. Dorothy sat alone in her house, feeling consumed by a storm of loneliness. Abruptly, a sound of doorbell waked Dorothy up from deep thought. “Surprise!” It was John who stood in the front of the door. John’s unexpected coming brightened up Dorothy’s sad eyes. She was pleased to see John at her birthday. “I have prepared two gifts for you. Another one is on the way.” John gave Dorothy a bunch of blooming flowers after sitting in the sofa, saying to himself in a low voice, “It should arrive soon.”
The doorbell rang again soon and John smiled. A puzzled look appeared on Dorothy’s face. The moment she opened the door, a storm of extreme excitement nearly swallowed Dorothy. It was Kevin! With tears of joy rolling down her cheeks, Dorothy hugged her son tightly. It proved that it was John who advised Kevin to return home for his mother’s birthday. It was in the house that the two men gave Dorothy an unforgettable birthday!
评语:本文情节合理,行文流畅,回扣原文,衔接得当,有动作描写、语言描写和情感描写等细节描写。句式丰富,用到了无灵主语、强调句、it做形式主语、with的复合结构、非谓语等高级句式。不失为一篇好文!祝福黄榆!
责编:唐盛